Why Am I Nervous?

Today I’m supposed to hang out with my childhood friend, my first love. And I have to straighten my hair and shower, etc… But I’m still in bed. Why am I so nervous?
It’s the first time hanging out with him properly since 12 years ago and we talk all the time. But he has such high expectations of how it’s going to go and I’m just thinking, “dude can you calm down? It’s just me.”
I don’t know. The combination of the fact that he has me on a pedestal and also feelings of love for me, it just makes me nervous. It feels like a date and I don’t want it to feel like a date. Not to mention I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the one paying for everything because he doesn’t have a car and he works but has to pay his own tuition.
I don’t know. I don’t work well in these kinds of situations. I’m not used to platonic friendships with people I used to “date.”
Sigh.
Wish me luck guys.

Fashionista

somethinginlawschool:

For all the little 1Ls who come in thinking you can wear sky high “professional” heels and skin tight skirts. No. No you may not. Go home and try again. This is not a nightclub! You are learning to be leaders and responsible citizens – dress like it! A full suit isn’t needed but don’t you dare disrespect the profession by showing up looking like you just got hit by a bus. I will personally slap you. Lol

Originally posted on Lawyer in the Making:

Let me get this out there before I go on my tangent about people’s outfits in law school. Some law schools do NOT have an official dress code. My school doesn’t have a dress code but there is an implied dress code for students.

It’s important to keep in mind you are around attorneys, professors, and other professionals that can influence your life. I’m not a fan of showing up to class looking like a hot mess everyday. To be clear, a hot mess for me is sweatpants, hair a mess, etc. A true hot mess. I have no problems with people wearing sweatpants or having a bad hair day. I rarely wear makeup to class and sometimes, it’s a sweatshirt and bun type of day. It’s important to remember that some people in a good position to help you may see you looking shambly one day.

That is not…

View original 42 more words

Tricking Yourself into Being A Morning Person

I don’t know about you but I am NOT a morning person. I shoot daggers at my phone every time it starts to go off at 7am or sometimes even earlier. Then there is the ever present fight with my inner self to get out of bed and be productive; the feeling of “When do I get a break?!” with “ugh I’ve wasted a whole day” haunts me pretty often.

So what to do? Last night I came home from class, so exhausted I felt nauseous. One of my friends suggested I completely unplug for the night, and get a good nights sleep. So, I made a cup of “sleepytime with echinacea” tea, took a hot shower, took the vibrate off my phone and totally unplugged for the night. Like clockwork, I woke up at 6 am… wide awake, no struggle, nothing. I only laid in bed for about 10 mins before I decided to get up.. and as we speak, I’m washing a load of laundry, have already had a banana (a sort of “wake up, tummy!” snack) and am drinking another cup of tea (green). Readings for my first class today are on my mind, but so is my monthly budget that is about to start for November and of course my short-term goals, which stay ever present on my mind.

What happened? I got a good nights sleep. I unplugged. I think I’m guilty of it 99% of the time; I say I’m going to bed but then I’m watching something on my phone or texting until I fall asleep with the phone in my hand. There are plenty of articles that tell you not to do that, among other things, and to truly let your body wind down. I think I should have listened a little earlier than now. I truly think the trick is getting your body to relax, and turning off all the screens 20-30 mins before, and turning off all the lights too. Just wind down. So I’m going to try this again tonight – a cup of tea, just decaf and not necessarily “sleepytime” and wind down early. Will report back with results :)

Meanwhile, it’s that time of year again… #NoFunNovember !!

I quite literally have 1 month to save the semester. 1L’s – do not follow after my example. For the love of God, please do as I say and not as I do! Lol

Between job hunting, outlining, reading for current classes, planning for classes next semester, and general upkeep of my body and household – its going to be rough. But, I know I can do it, especially after the insane summer I had. I think part of getting through it will also be blogging at least once a day – to vent and express myself. I’ve said it before, will say it again – it helps as a part of self-therapy. You know, besides wine. Lol

ALSO – remember that fitness challenge? #15byHalloween ?

Yeah no. it lasted all of 15 seconds lol But I will say that I have managed to do a steady habit over the last 3 weeks, and not miss a Monday in the gym. I’m working on not missing a Monday and a Wednesday – so that means that even though Gold’s Gym will be closed by 8pm tonight, I will either do yoga before I leave for class today or just use the apartment gym when I get home tonight. Holding myself to it.

In the meantime, time to read for class.

xox

Playing Catch-Up When You’ve Fallen Behind

somethinginlawschool:

Yaaaasss!!! Lol so relevant right now

Originally posted on Law School Success:

Image courtesy of jesadaphorn/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of jesadaphorn/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

By this point in the semester, most law students are in the final stretch of what seems like a very long race. Final exams loom ever closer on the horizon, and you’ve probably realized that you have a lot to get done in the next several weeks. Law school can feel stressful enough under normal circumstances, as writing assignments are coming due and professors are trying to cover the course materials prior to finals. But if you’ve fallen behind in your studies, you most likely are feeling even more pressure.

Law students fall behind for a variety of reasons. Maybe you’ve been sick and missed several classes, and, because you were feeling so poorly, you didn’t keep up with the reading. Maybe you’ve participated in the on-campus interviewing process and have spent more time working on job applications than you’ve spent studying lately. Maybe you’ve been…

View original 666 more words

Rough Week

So clearly after my last meltdown, things have progressed – though I’m not sure I would say for the better or not. Let’s just say I have several projects this week, and thank God its Wednesday because two of them will be completed today. That is… If I can figure out wtf I’m supposed to talk about.

But today, lovelies, I’m going to talk about something that is incredibly prevalent in law school: drugs.

More specifically, Adderall. Yes, I’m going there. I’m going there because one of the people I’m working with on a project clearly has ADD and is on some sort of medication that makes him…focus.

You hear about all the benefits of Adderall and its progeny… you never see what it does to a person face to face. I’ve been exposed to it this week…and I can tell you, fuck no I don’t want anything to do with it. I first saw this kid last week and he looked… rough. Like he hadn’t slept for DAYS. I asked him if he was ok, had been sleeping alright.

He snapped back, “I don’t care what people think anymore. I’m on medication and I’ve just reached a point where I don’t care.”

O.O …. excuse me dude, I was just gonna suggest you take a power nap.

So the next day, we start working on a project together. It’s a simple powerpoint, nothing major and I offer to shoulder as much as I can because he has missed a week of school. We start working… “Can you make the font bigger?”

“Sure.”

“No I mean bigger.”

“II just did…”

“To match the letter next to it? and the question mark too? Wait no this slide should be *tick* here.”

….. What in God’s name is going on with this kid? “Ok sure.” *Moving things around*

It continues like this for an hour. Focusing on incredibly small details…and going down a rabbit hole. I chalked it up to annoyance until he said, “haha I guess this is where my ADD comes in. Focusing on stupid things.”

O.O …

Now let me clarify something. I have nothing against people who have ADD or ADHD. For a while, I wondered if I had it myself. I don’t even have an issue with people on medication, especially since I was considering taking it myself.

But after seeing this… I realized I don’t have ADD and I damn sure don’t need medication. Law school is just hard and often times boring, which is why I tend to tune out during lectures and focus on getting other shit done.

So what’s my point? Medications are serious things. If you don’t have a disorder or know what you’re doing, holy crap they can mess with you. Being an inexperienced person with medications, I think I will stick to coffee and tea at the moment. But clearly both this kid and myself are having a rough week. But like I said, tonight at 9pm means the end of said week for me – and the beginning of phase two, rough weekend lol

That being said, I need to get back to work on this presentation. In the 2 hours I have been awake, I have washed (and am now drying) laundry and painted over my nails (they were chipping/peeling and looked really bad), and gotten started on my speaking points. Here’s hoping I can pull something out of a top hat and make it work.

Charging forward!! lol

xox

Venting while Hungry

I cannot express to you how angry I am right now, at every damn thing you could possibly think of.

But let’s start with the thing that set me off over the tipping point just now. It is Saturday, ladies and gentlemen. One of my classes has two professors, who like to pick a group to answer certain questions every week, to be “on call.” I already hate this class. What makes me hate this class even more right now? Its saturday and we JUST got the fucking email letting us know that we are on call. The presentation is due Monday; and I am in no condition to drive to school right now because not only am I on that time of the goddamn month – I am hungry.

I have $30 to my bank account and no idea how I’m going to make it to the end of the month. PRAISE THE LORD all my bills are already paid and its just food and gas that I have to worry about. Oh and you know. the fucking $10 parking my school has to charge because they can get away with it.

So let’s go down the list.

- Last minute announcement of being on call with technically only one day to prepare

- On my time of the month

- Broke

- Hungry

- Somewhat significant other is a twat

- Don’t fucking feel like doing anything

- I feel gross all over and it has been confirmed that I am slightly gross by some guy who doesn’t even fucking know me

I think if I was any more irritated or hated my life any more, I would just go to a corner and curl up and die right now. Because I literally can’t.

I don’t even have wine in the house.

I’m fucking done with today. I’m done with law school. I’m done with myself. I need to go somewhere and cry because I am so over this bullshit.

**Update as I’m writing this – got another email saying my group is on call for the second day of class this week, not the first. To which I wanted to respond to the email with a resounding, “THANKS FOR THE FUCKING CLARIFICATION!” ** Yes. I am that pissed off right now.

Make time for what you love

I heard this all the time as a 1L, and have told this to my mentee on the first coffee meet we had.
Whatever you do that makes you happy, keep doing it when you get to law school. My thing is volunteering. It will probably continue to be volunteering for as long as I live.
Earlier tonight, I asked someone what they thought of that. Their response was, “my first thought is where does she find the time?!”

In the very wise words of one of my best LS friends: if it’s important to you, you will make time. If it’s not, you will make an excuse.

That being said, do what’s important to you, guys. Do what brings a smile to your heart.
💕

Just a thought.
Xox